Has your love life become more lukewarm than a forgotten cup of tea? Then chances are you might not be having the best sex. Whether you’re frustrated by high-speed foreplay or wondering if there’s more to life than missionary, there is always room for improvement in the bedroom. So it’s time to put your pleasure first and start taking things from ‘ow..’ to ‘WOW’.
1. Not taking responsibility for your own pleasure
Sex might take two to tango, but it’s essential that you take full ownership of your pleasure. Don’t just rely on someone else to please you. Spend some time solo getting to know your own body and find out how best to please yourself. Once you know what works for you, you will know exactly what to ask for. Be demanding, get creative and make things happen – for yourself. As the New Radicals sagely sang, “you only get what you give”.
2. Not communicating
Even the greatest communicators sometimes find themselves a little shy between the sheets. Sex doesn’t have to be just a lights off, lie back and think of England affair. Your partner keeps rubbing you up the wrong way? Tell them! You want to try that one thing you heard about but don’t want to scare your partner off? Take the risk! Chances are they’ll find it super sexy. Great communication is the key to great sex.
3. Not using protection
For those of you using the pill, IUD, implant or injection, condoms might not be your favorite method of contraception. It’s better to be safe than sorry though, so make sure to double up with a prophylactic. It only takes one encounter to contract a disease that could keep you company for the rest of your life. Knowing that you’re both protected leaves you free to let go and enjoy yourselves that bit more.
4. Worrying about how you look
When your partner looks at your body, do you really think that they see that tiny patch of cellulite on your thigh? Or do you think that they’re actually knocked out by your amazing curves. Remind yourself – this person has chosen to be with you because to them you are the hottest thing going. So embrace your sexuality and don’t hold back. Flaunt your unique form, and the enjoy the fact that you’re with someone who can’t take their eyes off you.
5. Not experimenting enough
We all have our routines, whether it’s your morning coffee or your sex life. When you discover something works in bed, you naturally want to do it all the time. Just make sure that you don’t end up having sex-by-numbers – try to surprise each other beneath the sheets sometimes. You can keep things interesting by getting a little creative. Consider trying a different kind of couples’ massager to heighten the pleasure or maybe exploring a long-held fantasy (sex on the beach, anyone?). Be open and receptive, and remember, no fantasy is too silly. Mix things up, and who knows, you might end up adding something new to your repertoire.
6. Not having enough sex
It’s a scientific fact that sex is extremely good for your health. The benefits are numerous, from stress relief, cardiovascular exercise, pelvic floor exercise, improved immunity, as well as the self-esteem boost, improved sleep and phew! We could go on, but we don’t want to keep you… So what are you waiting for? Knock boots, bump uglies, go get some!