The what and the how of sexual arousal in women
Sexual arousal in women is a taboo subject. It is strange how little time has moved on in reality – from when women wore chastity belts and did not speak of sex outside of the bedroom. To be fair, men too struggle to talk about their levels of arousal and potential problems they may face. Yet, for women it is more than just embarrassing – it is seen as a no-go area. Not only do they feel awkward to talk about arousal, it is actively seen as shameful, a potentially negative reflection on the respect and decency of the woman.
In fact, sexual arousal in women is equally troublesome for women, as men. Men perceive the lack of an erection as being the ultimate failure during sexual intercourse. However, if the woman is not aroused then her vaginal walls fail to dilate and no natural lubricant passes through to ease the passage of the penis. It is true that a woman can act as a portal for a man whether aroused or not. However, a lack of sexual arousal makes the act excruciatingly painful and can lead to vaginal bleeding and soreness for many days after.
Women show noticeable signs of arousal. The external genitalia – this will include the clitoris, the vaginal opening and the labia – will become swollen and inside the top of the vagina expands to help welcome the engorged penis. A woman’s pulse will quicken and her blood pressure will rise. It is likely she will become flushed – especially around the neck and chest. Without these external signs, the man can be sure that the woman is unlikely to be ready to receive the penis.
The headache that women suffer, which becomes the butt of bedroom humor, may, in fact, be an acceptance that sex tonight will bring pain and not pleasure – no matter how much her man works to make it pleasurable and comfortable for her. There are obvious lubricant jellies and certain condoms, which help to ease the path of the penis into the vagina. However, with a lack of vaginal dilation, the woman will feel a thud from the man and not the pleasure of the act. The gentle intimacy of just being within each other might offer some soothing but the chance of orgasm is slim for the woman.
A lot of women do not experience an orgasm each time they have sex – this is not at all unusual and in itself is nothing to worry about. At the point of sexual plateau, the clitoris withdraws and if there is no longer the continuous stimulation then the woman will no longer move towards orgasm. Instead, the blood withdraws from the area and the feeling of arousal leaves with it. At this point, the woman is likely to feel the pain and soreness of sex, as if she had not been aroused at all.
Unlike men, however, women can experience multiple orgasms if the area is stimulated again soon after orgasm. She does not require the same recovery period as a man. However, for this to be true, men need to acknowledge the importance of foreplay and knowledge of the female erogenous zones, which if stroked, can arouse the woman sexually once more.