They’re one of our favorite parts about being women – most of us just wish they would happen more often. Only about 10% of women can climax from penetration alone and at least a quarter of women have trouble reaching orgasm at all. But how much do you know about what your body is doing when you reach that bliss? Understanding more about what actually happens in your body during arousal and orgasm might help you reach climax more often. So here’s a quick guide to what your body is doing while you’re working towards that peak.
The anatomy of an orgasm actually begins in the buildup – as most women can attest, an orgasm is a full body experience, often involving more than one erogenous zone (though most of the time clitoral stimulation is key). For most women it takes, on average, 20 minutes to orgasm. In the meantime your body is going through changes that increase sensitivity and arousal and get your body ready for the big O. Some of these changes are visible, but others are internal and can only be felt.
That warm, tingling sensation you start to feel when you’re excited is due to increased heart rate and blood pressure, and much (but not all!) of that blood is directed towards your genitals. The clitoris, which is made up of over 8,000 individual nerve endings, swells and enlarges. As you get closer to climax your clitoris will pull back up under the clitoral hood (the sheath of skin that protects your clitoris). Your inner labia also begin to swell and your outer lips separate – this is often accompanied by a darkening of color as more blood fills the tissue.
While it’s true that 90% of women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, there are ways to increase arousal and get you closer to the edge. Try a slow, sensual, full-body massage as you’re getting undressed. Or try a vibrator that is worn by women during sex and rubs against both the clitoris and g-spot while your partner is thrusting. It creates intense sensations for both of you and leaves your hands free for exploring. Or try both, one after the other. It can take time to figure out what you like, so enjoy the exploration.
Your vagina begins to secrete fluid to lubricate itself to make sex more comfortable – often the more aroused you are the “wetter” you become. However, it’s not always enough – and that’s normal! It happens to many women for different reasons. Just be sure to keep a feminine moisturizer on hand to help out. Along with this lubrication, the lower part of your vagina becomes narrower and the upper part lengthens as your cervix and uterus move up slightly, creating more space for your partner’s penis.
Over the course of foreplay you’ll notice the tension and tingling building throughout your body – everywhere from your face to your fingers and feet. It’s the release of that tension in orgasm that feels so incredible. You might start to feel little spasms not just in your pelvis but all over your body – this is called myotonia and is thought to be because the spasming of your pelvic muscles and organs pulls on other muscles, causing them to move as well. These spasms become even more prevalent during orgasm.
The Big O
When the peak moment finally comes your muscle spasms will start, especially in the pelvis. This is a combination of the walls of your uterus, vagina, anus, and pelvic floor contacting, causing the waves of pleasure throughout your abdomen and the rest of your body. Interestingly, scientists have found that the strength of your orgasms can be tied to the health of your pelvic floor muscles. The more toned your pelvic floor muscles are the better they contract during orgasm, adding to the pleasure you feel. By far the easiest way to strengthen these muscles is to start doing Kegels exercises, which involve lifting your pelvic floor upwards, holding the contraction for a few seconds, then relaxing and repeating. Smart Kegel exercisers like KegelSmart register pelvic floor strength, guiding you through your exercises with gentle vibrations. As you improve, you’re moved up through progressive levels so you achieve pelvic floor strength and its sexy benefits in no time!
Depending on the strength of your climax it can last anywhere from a few seconds to a full minute. The number of contractions also varies, but the normal range is between 1 and 12 contractions that each last about a second. And don’t think that sex and orgasm are an entirely body-based experience – your brain also gets in on the action, releasing chemicals like oxytocin (aka the cuddle hormone, which helps create intimacy) and dopamine (a natural pain-killer).
Remember that every orgasm is different, and every woman experiences her orgasms differently. However, having a better understanding of how your body (and mind) react to sexual stimulation can help you unlock the knowledge of what gets you there. Take time either alone or with your partner to figure out what you like and find your own rhythm – we all know that getting there is part of the fun!